Friday, February 4, 2011

Habits and Welfare

After I woke up yesterday evening, I fought the discomfort and exhaustion. I had to stay awake for just a little while longer. The little longer turned into all night and now I'm back where I was before: exhausted, but not able to sleep for fear of sleeping far longer than I should.

I have much to do today. My to do list:

  • Fill out the annual lease papers. If I don't turn them in this morning, I am pretty much homeless.
  • Pay my rent.
  • Fill my prescriptions from my hospital stay.
  • Buy socks for the gym. (Does anyone else have a hard time keeping track of socks? I wear each pair once and then they disappear. Fancy that.)
  • Go to the gym.
  • Finish cleaning up my house.
  • Get a few loads of laundry done. Including put away. That's the part I struggle with the most.

That's quite a lot for someone as sedentary as myself. But I want to be different. I want to change. I want to be someone who lives life, not someone who hides from it. Right? Is that so wrong? Unfortunately, I could wish until I turn blue and I still wouldn't have a life anyone would envy.

On the 7th I get to return to the office to look for a job. Two hours, every day. That includes travel time, so I might cheat a bit. Oh noes, traffic!  It's just to appease the welfare gods, that they not smite me with benefit withdrawal. I look for a job every day, it's not like I am happy to live off welfare. I don't see why I have to go to a stuffy office with employees that are grossly underqualified for the job. Or at least, they are not competent. My personal case worker at JobSearch uses an ergonomic keyboard and mouse, and she types at about 15 words a minute. And she's telling me the skills I need to have to get a job?

Get a clue, lady. I'm brilliant with computers. The only thing I lack is a piece of god damn paper saying that I listened to enough stuffy old people to be able to handle customer service. Which I think is a load of bullshit, because I fucking love customer service and conflict resolution. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me what I already know I am good at.

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