Monday, May 7, 2012

I don't know...

I'm under a whole bunch of stress lately. I know I just made a list of how much I'm looking forward to the future, but what's mental illness but worrying about things too much?

  • I'm worried about money. I don't have enough to get me through until I get more financial aid money in July. My friend told me he'd help me, but I don't like asking for money. I haven't even made my car payment yet.
  • I'm worried about school. This quarter is just horrible for me. 
  • I'm worried about paying for college once I transfer to a four year university
  • I'm worried about getting IN to a quality four year university.
  • I'm worried about finding a coven. I know, when the time is right, one will find me, but I crave the way I felt at the public rituals I've been to. I can't seem to reproduce that...magic...when I practice on my own.
  • I'm worried about myself. I have been making so much progress with changing my worldview and calming down, but with my anxiety going out of control lately, I'm worried I won't be able to continue growing and evolving.
  • I'm worried about getting a letter from my doctor saying I need a companion pet for my anxiety. If I don't, I'll have to pay a HEFTY pet deposit at my apartment, and I just can't pay it.

I need help. I don't know anyone who can or is willing to help me though. I mean, my friend said he'll lend me money when I run out, but making phone calls to agencies around here asking for help, help calling doctors so I can find a pediatrician and new primary care physician for myself and my daughter, help calming down. 

I am still optimistic...but this stress is destroying me. 


  1. You should call it a day. Pull the plug. Punch out. Sing your swan song. Bail out. I'm not sure how many more ways to say this, but life is only going to get harder for you. Stupid decisions have a way of compounding, and you don't show any signs of improving your decision-making skills.

    1. Lol, coward. You leave an anonymous comment telling me to kill myself because you aren't brave enough to tell me who you are. Very nice.

    2. Also, please explain how I'm not getting better at making decisions? My life has drastically improved over the last two years.

  2. I'm terrified that you'll cast a spell on me. :|

    Keep stressing over your lack of a coven, and then talk to me after your car is repossessed and you're dropped from know what? Just go reread your pretty much speaks for itself.

  3. I don't cast spells on anyone. Why would I be dropped from enrollment? I have a 3.3 GPA. Well, that was last quarter, this quarter so far I have a 3.8. My car won't be repossessed because I have the money to make the car payment, and that is my priority. I just won't have money for the gas to take the car anywhere. What is your malfunction?