Depoe Bay

“Why can’t we have nice beaches, like in California?” Dani asked aloud as she hopped to another rock on the jetty. The air was chilly, and the wind rolled through her hair like waves on the sand. She stumbled, and Peter bent to catch her before she fell. 

“You are always complaining. It’s fucking beautiful here,” he muttered as he helped her stand. He knew she would have complained if he hadn’t brought her on this little weekend trip to the coast. He just couldn’t win. 

“You know me, Pete. Easily pleased, but never satisfied.” She was beaming. She thought she was being cute. “Yeah, I know.” Pete mumbled as they reached the end of the jetty. There was nothing before him but the sea.

Hello, friends. Long time no see!

Wow! It's been a while since I've posted. Things got kind of crazy toward the middle of the school quarter, so I had prioritize my hobbies and things like that.

I've quit my job. I wasn't going to make it through finals if I continued working a job that stressed me out and was pretty much emotionally killing me. I plan to live off of financial aid for the foreseeable future. I did interview for a job that I would LOVE to get, but they haven't got back to me. Oh well. They said I'd hear back this week, and it's only Tuesday, so I won't give up quite yet.

I'm taking 4 classes this quarter. I'm taking the final two credits of Math 80, Accounting 101, Interpersonal Communication, and PE. I'll need to take PE 100 and PE 102 at 2 credits each in order to fulfill my Health requirement for my degree, but that's fine. Free gym! And the instructor is a personal trainer, who will help me for free (well, unless you consider the price of tuition). I'm rather excited about this quarter.

My boyfriend and I are still together. We've had a couple of hiccups lately, but I love him and I want to make it work. I love his family so much, and I love his hobbies and his sense of humor. He's been really supportive lately too. He's made me so happy.

He's even going to babysit my daughter this Saturday while I have class. He's never watched her for me before. I'm really excited that he's willing to take that next step in our relationship.

In all, things are alright. I have a lot of work to do the next few months, but I'm sure everything will work out. It always does.

The universe is my mother, and it always takes care of me.

Marriage

My boyfriend and I had a fight the other day. I posted a senseless, rude comment on facebook about how everyone around me is getting married and I don't have someone who "loves me that much." It caused problems. All of his friends commented at me, telling me basically that my post was dumb and I don't understand what marriage is. It was dumb, I agree with that. But what kind of friend would really second guess me and see it as anything other than what it was: a self-deprecating, mocking post making fun of myself. Yeah, I've been pressuring my boyfriend a lot lately about a ring, but I don't really expect one. I don't think I'm ready for marriage. I had a child early, and I've grown up a lot, but I don't think I'm ready for marriage at all. I'm just beginning college, and I have a lot to figure out first.

The only thing I am sure of is my love for my boyfriend. I'm glad this didn't end in total disaster, just utter humiliation on my part. But that's the price I have to pay. Still, I'm a little upset that so many people thought I was really bitching about not being married yet. How little they must think of me.

My boyfriend also stated that a friend of his thinks I am delusional and that I think marriage would solve our relationship problems. Excuse me, but how stupid do you think I am? That's like a woman intentionally getting pregnant to keep a man with her. It's childish and an all around bad decision. Marriage is a challenging, but rewarding thing that you don't just rush into. My mom rushed into marriage with my father, before she attended any college, and to this day she is bitter and regretful and I do not want that for myself. I love my mother, but my biggest fear is being her age and living with the heavy burden of self-loathing that she carries every single day.

I do want to get married. I do, with all of my heart. And if I could guarantee that I would be able to marry my boyfriend, I'd love to. But not at this moment. I am in no hurry.

I wish people would get that. I think what hurt me the most about this whole thing, other than the hurt I caused my boyfriend, was that none of the people who talked to him about how stupid my post was came and talked to me. They commented at me, but nobody took me aside, or sent me a private message, to ask me what I meant. I'm a silly person, and my sense of humor is very self-deprecating. I wish I had a circle of friends that understood me.

It was a stupid thing to post, and now I feel more alone than ever.

Thank the Goddess that my boyfriend listens to me. I love him so very much.

The reason you shouldn't go for jailbait.

I am okay with age differences. I know that SOME teenagers are mature beyond their years. MOST of the time, however, that isn't the case. I personally believe that in MOST cases (I have to really point out that I know there are exceptions to the rule) you shouldn't date someone MUCH younger than you until they are where they need to be in life. A 23 year old dating a 30 year old? WAY different than a 16 year old dating a 23 year old. What the hell could they possibly have in common?

If you were or are in a relationship where you started dating your partner when you or they were in their mid teens, and you're still together or whatever, this is not aimed at you. This is aimed at the people who try to say age is just a number, but really...well they need to date someone more mature.

I am posting an edited version of a conversation I witnessed on facebook. My friend is a 22-23 year old guy who CUT HIMSELF when his jailbait girlfriend cheated on him and left him for a younger guy. He is way too immature and emotionally weak to be dating someone right now if he thinks cutting is an appropriate coping skill. Do I think he's a bad person? No. I think he has shit to deal with. Being with this girl will not solve his problems.


They're back together now, and what you are about to read begins with something the Jailbait Princess posted on his Wall. The immaturity level exhibited by Jailbait Princess and my Emo Friend is kind of lame. WARNING: VERY LONG.