California Video Blog!

I left California when I was 18. I'm a completely different person now. I'm excited to really enjoy California the way it's meant to be enjoyed. A

I'm Going to California!

Oh my god!

My best friend's father, Mark, is buying me a plane ticket to go back home to California, where I grew up! I'm going at the end of June!

I'm so excited! Yay!

He's the best male figure in my life. I just adore him, and he's been helping me since I was a teenager. He tutored me in math, and he watched Lost with me every week when my life started falling apart. He bought my plane ticket to California for my 21st birthday as well.

No, it's not a sexual or romantic relationship. He's like the father that I've always wanted. My own real dad abused me and abandoned me.

I'm so happy!

Yay!

Remember when I posted about the conflicting information from my school? Well, I had a discussion with my P.E. teacher  and she helped me transfer to a Jogging/Cardio class that DOES allow me to use my own gym. It's not the class that my college advisor told me about, but it's still P.E. credit.

It's a lot of work though. I need to really focus these next few weeks. Hardcore studying.

Blah.

Drama queens on the internet.

There is someone on a message board I go on that is absolutely ridiculous. This person changes personality constantly, always deleting their account and then starting over. She always has the same shtick when she comes back: She has been holding onto private messages that prove some secret about another poster, but that poster has done something "unforgivable" and she is going to reveal that secret. It's always a new poster, and it's always the same routing whenever she comes back with a new account.

I know, I know. She's just trolling, right? That's where it gets weird. She gets so defensive and starts accusing others of misusing the message board and having some kind of reprehensible flaw (she accused me of being a bad mother because I go on message boards). I can handle internet trolls. I find most of them entertaining. But  there is something that is off about this one. I think she's legitimately ill.

It's very unfortunate. I hope she gets help.

Conflicting information annoys me.

When I signed up for the PE class I need to get credit for my degree, I was told that I could get credit for working out at my own gym. Fast forward to the first day of class, and guess what? I got a big, fat

NOPE

I really hate that. Like, for real. I still have time to drop the class for a refund, but that sucks, you know? The school gym is over crowded and has shitty equipment. I pay $30 a month for my gym membership, so that's why I took the course in the first place.

I wish institutions would get their shit together and give me the same information all over the board.  I have this problem with DSHS too. That's Department of Social and Health Services. One social worker will tell me one thing, while the call center will tell me another, and I'd get yet another story from a different social worker. It's ridiculous. Why is it that the two arguably most important institutions in my life have to be so disorganized?

I can't stand it.

Hello, friends. Long time no see!

Wow! It's been a while since I've posted. Things got kind of crazy toward the middle of the school quarter, so I had prioritize my hobbies and things like that.

I've quit my job. I wasn't going to make it through finals if I continued working a job that stressed me out and was pretty much emotionally killing me. I plan to live off of financial aid for the foreseeable future. I did interview for a job that I would LOVE to get, but they haven't got back to me. Oh well. They said I'd hear back this week, and it's only Tuesday, so I won't give up quite yet.

I'm taking 4 classes this quarter. I'm taking the final two credits of Math 80, Accounting 101, Interpersonal Communication, and PE. I'll need to take PE 100 and PE 102 at 2 credits each in order to fulfill my Health requirement for my degree, but that's fine. Free gym! And the instructor is a personal trainer, who will help me for free (well, unless you consider the price of tuition). I'm rather excited about this quarter.

My boyfriend and I are still together. We've had a couple of hiccups lately, but I love him and I want to make it work. I love his family so much, and I love his hobbies and his sense of humor. He's been really supportive lately too. He's made me so happy.

He's even going to babysit my daughter this Saturday while I have class. He's never watched her for me before. I'm really excited that he's willing to take that next step in our relationship.

In all, things are alright. I have a lot of work to do the next few months, but I'm sure everything will work out. It always does.

The universe is my mother, and it always takes care of me.

Holy bejeezus, I'm tired!

Working and going to school full time as well as juggling a social life and motherhood as left me exhausted. I don't have time for anything anymore. I can't even read for pleasure. Every spare moment is taken up by schoolwork.

Work isn't as fabulous as it used to be. I have a lot more responsibility now, which is good because I'm always busy, but as I get used to having a job, I find myself more and more determined to succeed in school so that someday I might have a job I love. Today, my favorite coworker and my bosses got into a very loud fight. My coworker had a point. He said that one of my bosses talks to all the garage staff like they are children. He does. He even talks to me as if I'm a child, and to be honest it pisses me off as well. My boss is only a year older than my boyfriend. He's just hella condescending and it's kind of hard to deal with. I've only had to put up with it for 2 months, so as the newbie, I understand being put in my place.

I still think he needs to respect his colleagues a little more.

Anyway, the argument was loud and the energy in the room was just very dark. I didn't like it at all. I'm far too sensitive to be surrounded by that.

My mom is getting on my nerves again. I'm doing my utmost to be positive and happy and she's so mean. She thinks she has the right to talk to me in the most disrespectful way you can imagine all because she has to deal with my mental illness and not being fully independent (I don't live with her). No. Nothing gives anybody the right to talk to anyone the way she talks to me.

It's really hard to walk away when she gets like that.

Alas, my life.